Never Let Me Go
by purplepagoda
Summary: When Rachel Cranston dies, Maura's life as she knows it begins to unravel. Will she admit to being Kate Todd? What happens, when the truth comes out? What would happen if her former co-workers found out? Will she be able to bring herself to reveal the biggest secret of them all?
1. Death Of A Loved One

Maura is standing over a body, when Jane enters the room. Jane brings in two cups of coffee, and watches the doctor work.

"The cause of death is the bullet wound to the head, isn't it?"

"I am only in the preliminary stages..."

Jane cuts her off, "And you aren't comfortable jumping to that conclusion?"

"No, I am not."

"Why not? Did you see the back of her head? We scraped brain matter off the pavement, in the alley where we found her."

"Everything is not always as it appears."

"Are you ok?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You seem a little bit uneasy."

"I'm fine."

"Maura, what's going on?"

"Nothing," she shakes her head.

"You're not a good liar."

"Did you ever consider that maybe I am a good liar?"

"No," Jane answers quickly.

"Maybe I am so good, that I have just convinced you that I am not. Maybe it's all an act."

"Maybe you're full of shit."

"You don't know everything about me."

"Is this where you tell me you have a BS, in theater?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"What about this case has you so stirred up?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

"You're a human lie detector."

"Just tell me," Jane insists.

"Just reminds me of something that I saw once."

"Do you think that it's related?"

"No, that would be impossible."

"So, it's stirring up old feelings?"

"Jane, I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

"I just can't."

"Maura, what's going on with you? You act as if you've seen a ghost."

"I don't believe in ghosts."

"I forgot, that you are always completely one hundred percent rational, no matter what the situation is," Jane huffs.

"I just want to solve this, that's all."

"We will."

"Quickly," Maura adds.

"Why does it matter?"

"I always want to resolve things quickly."

"You seem irritated, and anxious this time, though. What is different?"

"She served our country, she should have justice."

"I agree, but there is something about this, that is bothering you," Jane makes a valid point.

"I just told you what was bothering me.. Can you just leave it alone?"

"Fine," Jane nods.

Later, that evening, Jane heads down to Maura's office, to see if she wants to join her. She stops outside her door, when she hears Maura talking to someone.

"I'm sorry, I think that I misheard you. Can you repeat that? What happened? When? Of course. As soon as I can. Ok, bye," she hangs up.

Jane waits a few seconds, and then enters the room.

"Ready for some dinner?"

"I can't."

"Why not? Do you have work to do?"

"Always."

"You can take a break."

"Jane, I would love to, but I can't. I just got a call, that I have to go out of town, for a few days," Maura reveals.

"What for?"

"Family emergency," Maura responds, without thinking.

"Family emergency? You barely speak to your family."

"I have no choice, I have to go."

"Which family?" Jane inquires.

"Does it matter?"

"No. I was just wondering why do you look so guilty?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Shut the door," she insists.

Jane nods, and closes the door. Maura closes the door that is leads to autopsy, from her office. She points at the chair in front of her desk.

"Have a seat," she tells Jane, in a serious voice.

"What's going on?" Jane questions, standing in front of Maura, with her arms folded across her chest.

"Jane there are a lot of things that you don't know about me."

"I know everything about you."

"No you don't," Maura shakes her head.

"What don't I know?"

"I can't tell you."

"Then why did you have me close the door?"

"Because some conversations are private."

"You can tell me anything, I'm your best friend."

"I want to, but I just can't."

"Because?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me," Jane insists.

"Just trust me," Maura begs.

"You can't just go out of town, all of a sudden, for a family emergency, and give me no further explanation. I am your best friend."

"You're right."

"So?" Jane gesticulates.

"It's not a family emergency. A professor, from college, whom I was very close with, passed away. I am going out of town, for her funeral."

"Oh. Why couldn't you just say that?"

"It's complicated," Maura admits.

"What about your life, isn't complicated?"

"It's all complicated," she exhales.

"How long will you be gone?"

"I'm not sure," Maura answers.

"There is more to this story, isn't there?"

"Yes," Maura confirms.

"It would help, to get it off your chest," Jane suggests.

"I don't think that you would believe me."

"You don't know that," Jane argues.


	2. A Favor To Ask

She makes eye contact with Jane, and swallows hard. She takes a deep breath, and then goes for it.

"I was a CIA operative for years."

Jane looks at her for a moment, and then begins laughing, hysterically. After a few seconds she regains her composure, "Nice try, but what is it, really?"

"I'm serious."

"No, you're not," Jane argues.

"Yes, I am."

"Maura, come on."

"While I was with the CIA I worked with two other government agencies."

"Doing what? Consulting, as an expert?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Doing what?"

"I graduated high school at fifteen, college at eighteen, and medical school at twenty two. I was in my second year of residency, when I was contacted by my former professor."

"To do what?"

"Assist her with a case, that she was working, with the CIA."

"In what capacity?" Jane inquires.

"As a federal agent."

"Maura, you're not qualified to be a federal agent."

"Thank you, for thinking so highly of me."

"That's not what I meant. How were you a federal agent?"

"It was originally intended for me to be used on a short term basis, under an alias. It sounded interesting, and rewarding, so I agreed."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No," she shakes her head, with a facial expression as serious as a heart attack, "I ended up working as a CIA operative for several years, under an assumed identity."

"Maura, you're making this up."

"Do I look like I am lying to you?'

"No, but..." Jane trails off.

"I'm not. I decided after several years, that I wanted to return to being a medical examiner."

"Why?"

"Less risk, more stability."

"Why?" Jane repeats.

"I just did."

"What made you reach that decision?"

"A particularly close call."

"What happened to your assumed identity?"

"She died."

"She died? What do you mean?"

"She died."

"You died?"

"I didn't die, but..."

Jane cuts her off, "How can she die, but you didn't? You're one in the same."

"My death was very convincingly faked."

"How?"

"It's incredibly complicated."

"Maura this is laughable. You're making this up."

"Ok, believe what you want, but I have to go. I have a flight to catch."

On her flight, she plugs in her earbuds, hoping to drown out the rest of the world, and her own thoughts. When she lands, she grabs a newspaper, on her way to baggage claim. She tosses her bags into the trunk rental car, and puts the keys in the ignition, as she climbs in the driver's seat. She opens the newspaper, and begins to read. She ignores the headlines, and the news articles. She skips the weather, and the op-ed pieces. She flips right to the obituaries.

She reads it to herself, in silence. A sense of dread, comes over her. She pulls out her phone, and dials a familiar number. After a few rings she gets an answer.

"Hello?"

"Maura, do you know when you'll be getting in? The viewing is tomorrow."

"I just got it. I am getting ready to head to my hotel."

"You know that you're welcome to stay here."

"Thank you, but I'll pass."

"Did you need something? I..."

"No. I understand, you're busy making all of the arrangements. I'll let you go. I'll see you tomorrow."

"We can discuss things then."

"Ok," she agrees, hanging up.

When she arrives at the hotel, she tosses her bags in the room, and takes a seat on the bed. She stares at her phone, blankly. She wants to dial a familiar number. She wants the party on the other end to answer, so she can explain herself, and make all of this better. She tosses the phone in the drawer of the bedside stand, and opts for a shower, instead.

She climbs into her silky pajamas, and blow dries her hair. She turns down the bed, and slides under the covers. She flips off the lamp, next to the bed, and tries to go to sleep. Sleep doesn't come. She considers flipping on the TV, but decides against it. She stares at the ceiling, with a head full of thoughts. It's hard to sleep, with an empty stomach, and a head full of thoughts. She tosses, and turns, adjusting her covers at least half a dozen times.

Several hours later, she and sleep, finally meet. The sound of her phone wakes her, too soon. She's barely been asleep three hours, when the alarm tells her it's time to get up. She stares at the phone, realizing that she doesn't have to go to work. She resets it, due to the fact that she doesn't have to be up, for several hours.

For a while, she sleeps very soundly, unaware of the events that are to follow when she wakes. She is completely oblivious to the chaos that is about to ensue. Her life is about to make a U-turn, towards her past, and smack right into a brick wall, along the way.

When she wakes she doesn't feel rested. Instead, she feels more tired than before falling asleep. She proceeds to get ready to go to the viewing, dreading the service. It's five minutes, before she plans to leave the hotel room, when her phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Maura, it's Jim."

"I didn't expect to hear from you, until I got there."

"I have a favor to ask, it seems that someone has had a change of heart."

"What do you mean?"

"Gabe, was planning on going, but now he doesn't want to. Everyone else is going. I was hoping that you could watch him. I know that you want to go, to pay your respects. I know that you and Rachel were very close, but..."

"Of course I'll watch him."

"My cousin, Mary will be coming into town later today, she said that she would watch him, tomorrow, for the funeral. I wouldn't ask..."

"It's ok, I'd be glad to."


	3. Suit And Tie

Maura sits in the living room, with Gabe. She watches him, quietly, as he reads a book. He's dressed in a suit, and a tie. He's wearing his dress shoes, as he sits in an armchair, reading a book about bugs.

She clears her throat, "Gabe?"

"Yes?" he answers, without looking up.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"I told everyone that I didn't."

"I'm not everyone," she reminds him.

He looks up, from his book, "I just don't want to go."

"Why not? Is there something in particular that bothers you about it?"

"Everything."

"I know that it can be difficult..."

"I'm not around dead people everyday. I don't want to remember her like that."

"Ok."

"I'm not even seven," he comments.

"I know."

"They want me to act adult."

"You're not an adult. They just think you should pay your respects."

"No," he shakes his head.

"What happened to your head?"

"Don't you know?" he inquires.

"No," she shakes her head.

"I got stitches."

"I can see that. You have nine of them, on your forehead."

"She died."

"What?"

"I was in the car."

"She died of a heart arrhythmia."

"We were in the car, when it happened."

"We, who?"

"Just the two of us."

"She just picked me up from school."

"I didn't know that."

"We hit a tree. My head hit the window, when the other car hit us."

"Oh," is all she can say.

"I don't want to talk about it, anymore."

"Ok."

"Can I go to bed?"

"Gabe, it's noon."

"I'm sleepy."

"I think you should stay awake."

"I shouldn't have been there."

"What do you mean?" Maura wonders.

"I got sick, at school. She had to come pick me up."

"You couldn't have stopped it from happening."

"I don't want to talk about this, anymore."

"Ok."

"People ask too many questions."

"What people?"

"Everyone," he answers.

"They're concerned about you."

"They don't even know me."

"Of course they do."

"Not all of them."

"Like, who?"

"The guy who was here earlier today."

"What guy?"

He shrugs, "Some guy, in a suit, with grey hair."

"What was his name?"

"I can't remember."

"How did he know Rachel?"

"I don't know," he says, angrily.

"Gabe, I'm sorry, for a lot of things."

"Not now."

"Ok."

"Can I go to my room?"

"Why don't you finish your book?"

"Fine," he huffs.

He falls asleep, in the chair, before he can finish his book. Maura looks up from her magazine. His hazel eyes are covered by eyelids. Hid sandy colored hair, goes several directions, despite someone's best attempts to tame it, with gel. She watches him, in silence, as he sleeps.

She reaches for the newspaper, that lays on the coffee table. She stares at the well worn page. She stares at the picture, of a familiar face. Underneath the black and white photo, is a name. _Rachel Cranston. _Maura re-reads the obituary, in silence. She is unable to make it past the portion that reads survived by.

Her mind wanders, away, for a moment. She thinks about how the six year old boy, asleep in the chair, across the room from her, must have felt, the day she died. How traumatized, he must be, from the crash. She wonders, how much of it he can remember. She hopes that the concussion has caused him to be unable to remember most of it.

She returns the newspaper to the coffee table, next to her magazine. She walks across the room. She stops, in front of the chair, and looks at the sleeping boy. She stands over him, for a moment, before touching his arm, gently.

"Gabe," she whispers.

He opens his eyes, and looks at her, in disappointment, "What?" He answers.

"Why don't you come over her, with me?"

"Why would I?"

"We can play a game if you'd like," she offers.

"You always win, and I have a brain injury," he counters.

"Ok," she nods.

"Just leave me alone," he begs.

"I'm worried about you."

"Please, just go away."

"You're stuck with me, for now," Maura tells him.

"I just want everything to go back to normal."

"Gabe, things aren't going to be the way that they were before."

"That's not my fault," he stares at her.

"I'm sorry," she admits.

"Be sorry, somewhere else," he tells her.

"Why don't you go to your room, and change your clothes?"

"Why?"

"You're wearing a suit, and tie..."

He cuts her off, "I like wearing a suit, and tie."


	4. Opening A Can Of Worms

He's on his way out of the funeral home, when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns around, and finds Rachel's husband, Jim.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he empathizes.

"Agent Gibbs, you should stick around."

"I was only planning on coming for the viewing. I am in the middle of a case right now."

"Rachel spoke so highly of you, I know that she would have really appreciated you coming."

"How are the kids holding up?"

"Ok," Jim answers.

"I didn't see Gabe."

"Gabe didn't want to come. He changed his mind at the last minute."

"How old is he?"

"He'll be seven, in January."

"That's a tough age, to lose a parent," Gibbs admits.

"He's angry. He was there, when it happened."

"He was in the car with her?"

"In the back seat. She had gone to pick him up from school, early, because he was sick."

"If you need anything, let me know."

"Agent Gibbs, would you mind talking to him?"

"Are you sure about that? I'm not..."

"He really likes you. When you stopped in yesterday, it was the first time he had smiled, in days."

"Sure," he nods.

Gabe is sitting in front of the TV, when Jim gets home. Maura is sitting on the couch, just watching Gabe. Rachel's fourteen year old son, Alex, runs up the stairs, in a hurry to get out of his suit .

"Where is everyone else?" Maura quizzes.

"Sarah, and Michael decided to stay at a hotel. They said it was too hard to stay here, without her," he reveals.

"I think I should get going, he's sick of me, already," Maura answers.

"Maura, can we talk?" Jim motions for her, from the kitchen.

She nods, and vacates her seat on the couch. She turns, and goes into the kitchen. Jim pulls paperwork out of his jacket pocket, and places it on the counter, in front of her.

"These are some papers you should look at."

"Ok."

"Maura, what do you want to do?"

"I'm going to need a couple of days."

"That's fine," he nods.

There is a knock on the door. Jim moves out of the kitchen.

"I'll get it," Gabe insists.

He looks out the window, and pulls the door open.

"Hi!" he chirps.

"Don't you look sharp in that suit," Gibbs comments.

"I would wear it all the time, if I could."

Jim walks into the room. "He would wear it in the bathtub, if we would let him."

"What are you doing here?" Gabe questions Gibbs.

"I thought that I would stop in, and check on you."

"Oh."

Maura stands in the kitchen, completely frozen. She just watches, helplessly as the scene unfolds, in front of her.

"Are going to come to the service tomorrow?" Gibbs quizzes.

"No, sir."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to," he answers.

"It's important that we get to say goodbye to our loved ones," Gibbs tells him.

"I don't like goodbyes."

"Neither do I, champ. Sometimes we have to do things we don't like," Gibbs responds.

"Nice try," he turns to Jim, "Can I go to my room, now?"

"Ok," Jim nods.

"Maura wouldn't let me."

"She probably didn't want you to fall asleep."

Gabe runs up the stairs. Jim turns towards the kitchen.

"Come in Agent Gibbs, can I get you some coffee?"

"No, I should get going."

Jim notices that Maura is no longer in the kitchen. Gibbs picks up on his facial expression.

"Something, wrong?"

"No, she must have left."

"Who?"

"Maura."

"I should get going."

"Of course," Jim nods.

Gibbs, turns to leave. Jim closes the door behind him. Gibbs walks down the sidewalk, towards his car. When he reaches his car, he stops, dead in his tracks.

She's to her car, when their eyes meet. She freezes, instead of getting in her car, as if nothing is wrong. She takes a deep breath, but says nothing.

He stands there, looking at her, for several moments. He shakes off the feeling, thinking that he's losing his mind. Since he had heard of Rachel's passing he had been thinking of Kate, a lot. He's tired, he hasn't slept in days, he chalks it up to his mind playing tricks on him.

Finally he speaks, "I'm sorry, I have you blocked in. I'll get out of your way."

Without thinking, she opens her mouth, "It's ok."

He freezes. She swallows hard, and begins moving towards him. She stops less than a foot from him. He scrutinizes her, as she stands there, but says nothing. She offers a hand.

"I'm Maura."

"Kate," he answers.

"Where are you staying?" she questions.

"The Ramada, you?"

"The Four Seasons. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

"I..."

"There is a diner, near my hotel. I think that we should talk."

"Oh? Ya think?"

"You can follow me there."

"Ok," he nods, in uncertainty.


	5. Diner Talk

The entire drive to the diner, she feels uneasy. She is unsure what to say, or do. She is uncertain how this is going to play out. How would things change? Her life was about to take a detour that she had fought against for so long.

He stares at her, in silence, until the waitress brings his coffee. He thanks the waitress, breaking eye contact for a brief moment.

"Maura?"

"Maura Isles," she replies.

"Nice to meet you, I guess."

"Gibbs..." she begins.

"I need an explanation. Why are you here? Who are you?"

"Maura Isles. I have always been Maura Isles."

"Always?"

"This is hard to explain," she admits.

"Try."

"I worked for the CIA, as an operative, for several years."

"The CIA?"

"Rachel was my professor, and my former advisor. She was contracted with the CIA for a while. There was a project that she was involved with. She suggested me for it."

"What about Kate?"

"Kate wasn't real," Maura answers.

"Kate was real."

"She was an alias."

"What?"

"I became Caitlin Todd, when I started with the CIA. The made me a member of the secret service."

"For what purpose?"

"To prove that there were people working for the president, who wanted him dead. Meeting you was not a coincidence."

"Why?"

"They wanted me to work with NCIS."

"For what purpose?"

"To do an internal audit, and bring down terrorists that threatened the president's life."

"Who were you, before you were Kate?"

"Maura."

"And who is Maura?"

"I am the chief medical examiner, of Boston."

"You were a medical examiner?"

"I am. I was one, when I decided to take the job with the CIA."

"Why?"

"Why am I a medical examiner?"

"Why did you chose to take the job with the CIA. I studied psychology in college, it has always interested me. I could tell you why someone died, but I wanted to know why people killed them."

"So for you it was an experiment?"

"It didn't end well."

"You hurt a lot of people."

"I had no choice."

"The CIA decided that you were no longer useful?"

"I wanted to go back to being a medical examiner. I... was getting too close, and I didn't want to hurt people."

"You didn't want to hurt people? You didn't succeed. You hurt a lot of people. I don't understand, you died. I saw you."

"My death was faked."

"I saw you spliced open, on an autopsy table."

"It wasn't me. I don't know who it was. Someone who fit my description."

"It was your face. You got shot in the head."

"The CIA elaborately planned my death. Every single detail. They paid Ari."

"I don't believe this."

"I know that it is hard to believe, but it's the truth."

"Why did you want out? What changed?"

"It's complicated," she answers.

"You don't choose to go back to being a medical examiner, fake your death, and leave all of your friends, for no reason. What was your reason."

"I had a good one."

"What was it?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me. Rachel wasn't your sister. Why are you here?"

"She meant a lot to me. I wouldn't have missed her funeral."

"You disappeared."

"The CIA changed my fingerprints, to match the dead body."

"Why? Why did they go to all of the trouble? Why did you go to all of the trouble?"

"I made a lot of enemies while I worked for them. I wanted a life where I didn't have to worry that a terrorist was going to show up at my doorstep. For security reasons, the CIA was inclined to agree."

"I want to know the reason you chose to leave NCIS."

"I told you I wanted to go back to being a medical examiner."

"Why?"

"Stability."

"Who are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know Kate. Who is Maura?"

"I was an only child. I was adopted, as an infant. I graduated from medical school by the time I was twenty two. I was twenty four when I went into the CIA. I guess, part of me always wondered who I was. I thought by joining the CIA, I would be able to find that out."

"Why did you leave NCIS. You could have quit, and gone back to your life. You could have lost touch..."

"I felt that I didn't have the choice."

"Why?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"I don't understand any of this. Why would you want to be someone else? Why would you become someone else, and then decide that you like who you were to begin with, better?"

"That isn't what happened."

"Then what did happen?"

"I couldn't stay at NCIS. I could wake up every single day, wondering if I would make it home, alive, each night."

"What changed?"


	6. Living A Lie

"Everything."

"How?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I don't care, whether you want to talk about it, or not. I think that you owe me an explanation."

"Even once I explain, you won't understand."

"Explain it, anyway."

"I found out that I was pregnant."

"What?"

"I had just found out that I was pregnant. I didn't want to put my child in danger."

"I can understand that. Of all people,_ I_ understand that."

"You won't understand the other part."

"What other part?"

"I was afraid, that despite all of the attempts made to conceal my identity, my past would catch up to me. I was afraid I would be putting the baby in danger."

"So you moved to another city?"

"I moved six times, in as many months."

"What wouldn't I understand about that?"

"When the baby was born, I had just gotten offered a pretty great job. I didn't think that I could do it alone. I didn't want my child to be raised by a nanny, like I was. I wanted more. I didn't know who to turn to. I have never been very close to my parents. I had just severed all ties, with the people who had grown to be my family. So I called Rachel."

"Gabe is your son?"

"I see him one day every month, and I spend a week with him each summer."

"Why would you give up your child?"

"I was scared. I was afraid that something bad would happen to him, if he was with me."

"He's seven."

"I know."

"Does he know?"

"He's always known."

"Now what? Rachel is dead."

"I don't know," she shrugs.

He shakes his head, "I don't know what I'm supposed to say to you."

"You don't have to say anything. I am not the same person that I was. I'm not the person that you knew."

"It was all an act?"

"Most of it was."

"Whose Gabe's father?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. All of it matters. What am I supposed to tell the team?"

"Nothing. You don't need to tell them anything."

"You should tell them."

"I can't."

"Can't, or won't?"

"Gibbs, they wouldn't understand," she tells him.

"Probably not."

"I live in Boston, and I'm a medical examiner. I'm not the same person that you knew."

"Clearly. Your whole life is a lie. You were Kate, now you're not. You left NCIS, and DC. You gave up your son, because you were scared. You're definitely not the person I knew. The person I knew would have stayed. She would have found a way to protect her son. She never would have given him to someone else to raise. You're adopted, and you gave you son to someone else? How could you do that?"

"You weren't there. You don't know how hard it was."

"That is not my fault. You had people you could count on. You had people who would have protected you, and your son."

"I was tired of living a lie. I hate lying."

"You're still living a lie. Does your family know about your son?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Do your friends, or co-workers?"

"No."

"Then you're still living a lie. You might actually be Maura Isles, but your life is still a lie."

"No, it's not," Maura argues.

"You can lie to me, or to whoever else you want, but, Maura, you can't lie to yourself. And, you shouldn't lie to your son."

"I haven't."

"Does he know why you gave him to Rachel?"

"He knows that I was trying to protect him."

"He's six, he doesn't understand."

"He's very smart."

"No six year old understands why their mother abandoned them."

"I didn't abandon him. It's not as if I just left him on their doorstep."

"Does he know about his father?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Does he know who he is?"

"No," she answers again.

"Does he know the whole story?"

"No, I've never told him. He's too young."

"The woman who raised him for the past six years just died. He was there, with her, in that car, when she died. He didn't have to be there. He didn't have to see that. He could have been with you."

"Don't you think that I know that? I feel so guilty about it."

"Then what are you going to do? Are you going to go back to Boston, and pretend he still doesn't exist?"

"That's unfair."

"No, it's not."

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I work all of the time."

"You're making excuses. He's your son. He needs you. He needs to know that you want him."

"I know."

"Then do something about it. Stop lying."

"How? Sometimes it doesn't even seem real."

"It was real. You have a son."

"I know that I've made..."

"You're in violation of several rules. Rule four, rule eight, rule ten, rule eleven, I'm guessing rule twelve, rule forty-five. Or have you forgotten the rules?"


	7. Rule Number 4

_A/N: My apologies I posted a chap to a different story. I am going to quit doing mass updates, it never seems to work out well. Enjoy._

* * *

"Does Tony know?"

"Know what?" she furrows her brow.

"That he has a son."

"What?!"

"He looks just like him."

"No, he doesn't," she argues.

"He looks like the two of you," he clarifies.

"Rule twelve," she answers.

"Things happen. Don't you think that I know that?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I do."

"Why? Kate is dead. It's better that way."

"But you have a son, and he's not dead. He deserves to know his father is. Tony deserves to know he has a son."

"I don't want to dig up the past."

"Then you shouldn't have tried to be a ghost."

"I didn't have a choice."

"You always have a choice."

"I didn't plan it."

"Faking your death?"

"Getting pregnant. I didn't plan that."

"Most people don't."

"I made a mistake."

"Then fix it."

* * *

The following day, after the funeral, she heads to the airport. She makes it back to Boston, before dinner. She's physically, and emotionally exhausted, when she gets home. When she opens the door, she tosses her bags on the floor. Much to her dismay, she finds Jane sitting in her kitchen, eating cookies, with Angela.

"Come eat some cookies, it'll cheer you up," Angela tells her, as she walks through the door.

Maura walks into the kitchen. She looks at Angela, and attempts to smile. She can't. She takes a deep breath.

"Thanks for the offer Angela."

"Are you ok?" Angela queries.

"Can you give Jane, and I a moment alone?"

"Sure, I have to go finish my laundry, anyway," she excuses herself from the room.

Maura takes a seat. She turns to Jane.

"What's going on?" Jane inquires.

"There is something that I need to tell you."

"Ok," she nods.

"There are a lot of things that I need to tell you. There are a lot of things I need to tell everyone."

"Maura, what are you talking about?"

"It's a long, and complicated story."

"Ok?"

"I don't know where to start."

"At the beginning," Jane suggests.

"I am afraid when I tell you, that I'm going to lose you as a friend."

"You already told me that you were a CIA operative, and worked under an alias."

"Which, I can tell by your tone, you don't entirely believe," Maura points out.

"No," she shakes her head.

Maura pulls something out of her pocket. She places it in Jane's hand.

"What's this?"

"Open it," Maura answers.

Jane flips it open. She stares at a picture, of Maura, with dark hair.

"NCIS?"

"Naval Criminal..."

Jane cuts her off, "I know what it stands for."

"You do?"

"I got a call from an Agent Gibbs, earlier. He was inquiring about our case. He would like our cooperation. He said that there have been a series of similar murders in at least three other port cities, including DC."

"Oh, I see."

Jane studies the badge, "You were a member of his team?"

"Yes," she nods.

"What happened?"

"My death was faked."

"Why?"

"I told you, it's complicated," Maura explains.

"You don't just walk away from five years worth of work, for no reason."

"I didn't."

"What was your reason? Being a medical examiner is your calling? The pay is better?"

"A couple of weeks, before my death was faked, I found out that I was pregnant."

"And?"

"I thought that it was too dangerous to remain an NCIS agent, and a CIA operative."

"You don't have a kid, so what happened? How did you get pregnant, in the first place?"

"What do you mean? The same way..."

Jane cuts her off, "I can't imagine that you make those kinds of mistakes."

"I am only human. I make lots of mistakes," Maura cringes at the thought of making a mistake.

"Did you tell the father?"

"No," she responds.

"You never told him?"

"No," Maura shakes her head.

"You decided against having it? After all of that?" Jane guesses.

"No," Maura shakes her head, "I didn't decide that, at all."

"Ok."

"It was an accident. I slept with my partner."

"That is, like the number one thing, you don't ever do," Jane points out.

"It's rule twelve."

"Huh?"

Maura shakes her head, "The point is, it was wrong."

"Did you love him?"

"No. Our relationship was like yours, and Frost's," she admits.

"Then what happened?"

"It only happened once," Maura clarifies.

"That's all it takes."


	8. Late Night Call

"Jane I don't know how to say this."

"Say what?"

"I have a son."

"What?"

"I have a son," she repeats.

"I heard you. I just don't understand."

"His name is Gabe, he's six. He'll be seven, in January."

"Where is he?"

"I was afraid that people who I knew, when I worked with CIA would find out who I was, and they would try to hurt him."

"So you gave him up for adoption?"

"No, not exactly."

"Then what? I've never met him. You sent him off to boarding school, in infancy?"

"No. Rachel, had three kids. She wanted a fourth. I trusted her. I knew that she would be able to take care of him, and love him."

"You could have done that. You don't just give your kid to some stranger."

"She wasn't a stranger."

"Does he know?"

"Yes."

"After all of the issues you've had, with being adopted, why..."

"People make mistakes."

* * *

That night, Maura finds herself unable to sleep. She lies in bed wide awake, for hours. The ringing phone reminds her that work is imminent. She checks the clock, it reads _323_. She grabs the phone, without looking at the number, assuming that it's her wake up call, from work.

"Dr. Isles," she answers.

"I know who you are," he responds.

"Gabe it's three o'clock in the morning, why are you calling me?"

"I can't sleep."

"So you called me, in the middle of the night?"

"Jim said that I could."

"Why would he tell you that?"

"I've been driving him crazy. He's tired. He gave in half an hour ago, and went to bed."

"Gabe, why are you still awake?"

"I can't go to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see her. I see the accident. I can hear the jaws of life, trying to pry us out of the car."

"Think about something else."

"I tried."

"And?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm too angry."

"Because she was taken away from you, so soon?"

"Because you left me," he admits.

"I had to come back to work."

"You always leave me. You're my mom. She wasn't my mom, you are," he reminds her,

"Gabe..."

"I should be with you. I don't understand. Why do I have to stay here? Why don't you want me?"

She clenches her jaw, trying to will away the tears. "Gabe I always wanted you," she answers.

"Then why did you give me away?"

"One day you will understand, when you're older," is the only answers, she can come up with.

"Not one day. Today," he argues.

"Before you were born I had a very dangerous job."

"So?"

"I made enemies out of some very dangerous people. When I found out that I was going to have you, I decided to go back to being a medical examiner."

"But why did you give me away?" he questions, with the sound of pain, in his voice.

"I didn't give you away. I wanted you to be safe. I didn't want someone to find out who I was, and hurt you," she explains.

"What about my dad?"

"What about him?"

"He didn't want me either?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Because I've never met him."

"He doesn't know."

"Doesn't know, what?"

"I never told him about you. I left, before I could."

"So tell him now."

"Gabe, it's not that simple."

"Why not?"

"He thinks that I'm dead."

"Why would he think that?"

"I was someone else to him."

"Why would he think that you're dead?"

"Because to him, I am."

"What?"

"Gabe it's complicated. Go to bed."

"Will you come get me."

"Gabe I am not going to come get you, tonight."

"I need you."

"It's three o'clock in the morning. If you want to talk about it tomorrow, you can call me. Get some sleep."

"Fine."

"Love you."

"No you don't," he hangs up, before she can argue.

She throws the phone, on the floor. She rolls over, and covers her head with a pillow.

Why couldn't anybody understand? Earlier in the evening Jane had stormed off, before they could finish their conversation. She didn't dare tell Angela the truth, yet. Gibbs couldn't fathom the decision she had made. Was what she had done so bad? Maybe it only seemed rational to her. She couldn't even convince a six year old that she was right. Maybe, she was wrong. How could she have screwed up, so badly? Gibbs had been right. She had always wanted children. Always...


	9. Lost Boy

He's sitting at his desk, in the squad room, with his co-workers, waiting on his boss to arrive. He stares at his desk, blankly. His phone rings.

"DiNozzo," he answers.

"Hi," a voice on the other end responds.

"Can I help you?"

"I hope so. My name is Gabe."

"Do I know you?"

"Not yet."

"Not yet? Gabe, how old are you?"

"Six. I'll be seven in a couple of moths."

"How can I help you Gabe?"

"I'm not sure if you can or not."

"Are you sure that you have the right number?"

"Yes, sir."

"Gabe, if I don't know you, how can I help you?"

"You're my dad."

"What?! Is this some sort of prank?"

"No. I'm your son."

"I think that you have me mistaken for somebody else."

"I don't think so."

"How did you get this number?"

"Your boss left it."

"My boss left it? Where?"

"He left your card, with your number on it. It has your name. He wrote _dad_ on the top of it, and slipped it to me."

"I think that you have me confused with someone else."

"Agent Gibbs left the card for me. He doesn't seem like someone who makes mistakes."

He puts his hand over the receiver. He looks across the bullpen to his partner. He whispers, "Ziva, did you do this?"

She furrows her brow, and gives him a questioning look, clearly innocent. He takes his hand off the receiver.

"Can I call you back?"

"You don't have my number."

"Does Gibbs?"

"Yes."

"Who is your mother?"

"Maura Isles."

"I don't know her," he answers confidently.

"You're right. You don't know Maura."

"Then how can I be your father?"

"I don't know what her name used to be."

"What are you talking about?"

"Google her," Gabe insists.

"Google her? Who is she?"

"The chief medical examiner of Boston."

"Ok. I'll do that."

"Are you really going to call me back?"

"You have my word."

"Bye," Gabe hangs up.

Tony hangs up his phone. He stares at Ziva, blankly.

"Who was on the phone, Tony?"

"My son," he responds.

"Your son? You don't have a son."

"According to the six year old on the phone, I do."

"How did he get your number?" McGee questions.

"Gibbs gave it to him," Tony replies.

"Gibbs?! Why?"

"I don't know," Tony shrugs, "Maybe it's a joke."

"That would be pretty hilarious," McGee admits, "And you probably deserve it."

"Will you look someone up?" Tony inquires.

"Give me a name," McGee answers.

"Maura Isles," Tony answers.

"And put it on the big screen, I want to see what the mother of Tony's child looks like," Ziva smiles.

"I don't have a son. I am sure that it's some sort of joke," Tony argues.

Ziva stops in front of his desk. "Are you telling me that it is entirely impossible for you to have fathered a child six years ago?"

"I am not telling you that it is impossible."

"You seem very freaked out."

"Wouldn't you be freaked out, too? What if some six year old kid called you, out of the blue, and told you that he's your son?" Tony queries.

"I think I would remember giving birth," Ziva retorts.

"Kate," McGee says under his breath, catching Tony's attention. He instantly stops squabbling with his partner.

Their eyes fall on the big screen. They stare at a picture, of Boston's chief medical examiner. Without another word, McGee takes the image off the screen. His two co-workers gather around his computer screen.

"That's impossible," Tony remarks.

"Maybe it's her identical twin," McGee answers.

Ziva raises an eyebrow, "Did you sleep with your partner?"

McGee turn from the computer screen, to look at Tony. "Did you sleep with Kate?"

"That's a good question," a familiar voice joins the conversation.

They look up, and find Gibbs standing in front of the desk. Tony looks at him.

"Did you give some kid my card, and tell him that I was his dad?"

"No," Gibbs shakes his head, "I did give him your card."

"He said that you wrote _dad_ on the top of the card."

"I did."

"Why? He just called me."

"You're his father."

"Who is he? What makes you think I'm his father? Where did you see him?"

"I saw him when I went to Rachel's funeral. His name is Gabe, he's six. I don't think that you're his father, I know it."

"Gibbs, this isn't a funny joke," Tony informs him.

"Did you sleep with your partner?"

"Not recently," Tony skirts the question.

"Did you sleep with Kate?" Gibbs clarifies.


	10. Dead Or Alive

"Who is she?" McGee asks, giving Tony a moment to think.

Gibbs looks at the computer screen, "Kate."

"That's impossible," Tony shakes his head.

"Nope. Don't tell Abby. We don't want to open that can of worms yet," Gibbs adds.

"Once," Tony says, very quietly, trying to do the math in his head.

"Once is all it takes," Ziva points out.

"Kate's dead," Tony answers.

"Kate is dead, Maura is not," Gibbs responds.

"But..." Tony tries to argue.

"They're one in the same," Gibbs clarifies.

"I saw her dead, on a slab, in our morgue," Tony looks his boss in the eye.

"I know."

"I don't understand," Tony admits.

"I know. You should talk to her," Gibbs suggests.

"The thing about the kid, that's real?" Tony raises an eyebrow.

"Yup. We've got a case," he informs them.

* * *

Later that evening, he's on his way home for the night. Ziva jumps on the elevator with him, at the last second. She stops the elevator, and looks at him. Just the two of them, alone on the elevator. He feels as if he's about to be interrogated. She looks at him, with big brown eyes.

"Talk to me," she says softly.

"How can I have a son?"

"I don't know."

"Kate..." he trails off, unable to finish.

"I know."

"I was there."

"I know."

"Six? I am supposed to have a six year old son? Ziva, I'm not ready for a kid. I can barely take care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of..."

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"I wonder what he's like."

"Maybe it's why she left."

"Ziva, she didn't leave, she died. She was assassinated, by a sniper, by your brother."

"Maybe she faked her death," Ziva suggests.

"No one could pull something that elaborate off, on their own."

"I never said, alone."

* * *

On his way home from work, that night, he reaches for his phone half a dozen times. He thinks about calling her. McGee had found a way to get her personal cell phone number. He pulls into his parking spot, outside of his building. He tucks his phone in his pocket. He takes a moment, of silence, before he gets out of the car. The crisp autumn air hits his cheeks, and stings like the news he's just learned. The news that he can barely fathom. News that he doesn't want to wrap his brain around.

He takes the key out of the ignition, and gets out of the car. He slams the door behind him. He makes his way into the building. He unlocks the door to his apartment. He steps inside, and closes the door behind him. He reaches for the light-switch, on the wall. The lamp near his couch flicks on. He freezes. He stares at the figure in the kitchen. He flips on the overhead light. He stares at the woman sitting on a stool, in front of the island, in awe.

"Nice to see that some things never change."

"You broke into my apartment?"

"I have a key. You gave me a key," she responds.

"What are you doing..."

"Here?"

"Alive?"

He takes a seat next to her. She takes a deep breath.

"I don't even know who you are."

"Maura."

"To me you'll always be Kate."

"I was always Maura. Kate was just an alias."

"So, Maura, I got a very interesting call today."

"From who?"

"A six year old boy, named Gabe."

"What?"

"Gibbs gave him my card."

"Why would he do that?"

"I don't know."

"I'm sorry."

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"Is he my son? I guess that is the most believable thing, out of all of this. It's easier to believe that I have kid, than it is for me to believe that you're really alive."

"I'm sorry. I know how much I hurt you."

"You don't have any idea how much you hurt me, how much you hurt everyone."

"Tony, I am sorry."

"Sorry isn't going to get it."

"I made a mistake, I am only now starting to realize that."

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be in Boston?"

"I thought that I should tell you. I knew that it was only a matter of time, before Gibbs told you that I was..."

"That you are not dead? That your death was an elaborate CIA circus, that hurt a lot of people?"

"I'm sorry."

"Why did you do it?"

"For all the wrong reasons. I made a lot of bad decisions."

"Why did you leave? Why did you feel the need to fake your own death?"

"I didn't want a terrorist to knock on my door one day. I didn't want those kinds of people catching up with me."

"What made you decide to leave?"

"I had just found out that I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do. I just knew that I had to protect my child."

"Gibbs said that you don't have him. He said that Rachel had him. She's not even your sister..."

"I was wrong."

"So is it true? Is he really my son?"


	11. Intruder

She simply nods.

"You named my son Gabe? As in Gabriel?"

Her lips curl into a smile, "No. Not as in Gabriel."

"What else can Gabe be short for?"

"Gable."

"Gable?"

"Like Clark Gable?"

"What does this mean? How does this work?"

"I don't know."

"Do your friends, and family in Boston know about Gabe?"

"I only told my best friend. She didn't take it too well."

"So what is he, Gabe, like?"

"He's like you, but smarter," she smiles.

"What's he look like?"

"Like you, but smarter," she repeats.

She pulls her phone out of her pocket. She finds a picture taken two days earlier. She hands it to him.

"I just can't believe this. You're here, you're alive."

"I know. I'm sorry. I know that you've moved on."

He breaks eye contact, and looks away.

"You haven't moved on?" she questions.

"I can't."

"Please don't tell me that this is where you profess your love for me..."

"No. It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"Since you left, I just can't trust myself."

"What are you talking about?"

"I want to move on..."

"I am sure that there have been other girls. I am certain that there have been lots of them."

"There have."

"Then, what is the problem?"

"I'm tired of lots of girls. I just want one," he admits.

"Do you have one in mind?"

He simply nods.

"What's stopping you?"

"I am afraid that I'm going to screw it up. I have managed to completely ruin every relationship I've ever been in. Look at us."

She furrows her brow, "_We_, don't have a relationship."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"What did you mean?"

"You were my best friend. You were my partner. That is all I ever wanted. I just wanted a partner that I could trust. I had that, and I blew it."

"You didn't blow it."

"I got you pregnant. You died."

"I didn't die."

"I didn't know what really happened. I just knew that I screwed up, and I never got to tell you how sorry I was."

"Sorry, for what?"

"I crossed a line."

"Tony, I'm sorry. I am sorry that I hurt you. I am sorry about all of it. I am especially sorry that you didn't know about Gabe."

"You could have left him on my doorstep."

"You weren't ready for a child."

"Clearly, neither were you. You gave him to Rachel."

"I should go."

"Maura..."

"I need to get home," she slides off the stool, and turns to head for the door.

When she reaches the door way, he smirks, "If you had dressed like that as Kate..."

She smiles, "I know, you would have gotten me pregnant much sooner."

"Have a safe trip home."

"Tony, don't let her get away."

He nods. She leaves the apartment. "_Never Let Me Go,_" he whispers to himself.

He heads to the shower. He throws on a clean pair of boxers, once he gets out, and heads to bed. He lies in bed, for hours, just staring at the ceiling.

_I have a son? A son? Whose six. His name is Gabe. Gable. I have a six year old son, named Gable. _

He rolls over, and reaches for his phone. He notices the time, but ignores that it's too late to call. He dials the phone, expecting to get a grouchy adult, he's never spoken to.

"You called," the voice on the other line comments, after the first ring.

"Were you waiting by the phone?"

"It's Rachel's cell phone. She can't use it, anymore," Gabe informs him.

"I talked to Maura."

"You did?"

"Yeah, she told me everything."

"I didn't think that you would call. You were pretty freaked out."

"I won't lie, I was a little bit freaked out."

"It's pretty late, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

"It's three o'clock in the morning."

"You can tell time?"

"Of course I can, I'm almost seven."

"I just wanted to call you, and tell you goodnight, and that I'm thinking of you."

"Am I going to get to meet you?"

"Yeah, soon."

"How soon?"

"I'm not sure."

"Ok, goodnight."

"Night, Gabe, I love you."

"Goodnight, dad," he smiles, as he hangs up the phone.

Tony places his phone on the nightstand, and rolls onto his side. He puts a pillow over his head.

"Dad? I don't know if I can get used to that."


	12. Change Your Mind

He's brushing his teeth, the following morning, when he hears a knock on the door. He spits, wipes his mouth, and saunters to the door. He unlocks it, and pulls it open, without looking. His partner stands before him, with two cups of coffee. She offers him one. He motions for her to come inside.

"What are you doing here? It's Saturday."

"I wanted to make sure that you're alright."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, maybe because you just found out that you have a six year old son, and your former partner is not who you thought she was, and she's not really dead, she just moved to Boston, and she is the mother of your son," Ziva replies, without missing a beat.

"Do you have plans today?"

"No, why?"

"I might need your moral support."

"For what?"

"Just answer, if I call you," he answers.

"I always do."

"I'm going to go meet Gabe, today."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"No, not even a little bit."

* * *

She sits in her kitchen, on a stool, in front of the island. She stares at the glass in front of her. She reaches for the bottle, to refill her glass. A hand reaches for the bottle. She turns around, and finds Angela standing behind her.

"I didn't hear you come in."

"I can be quiet," she responds, sitting the bottle of alcohol on the kitchen counter.

"I wasn't done with that."

"Maura, you've had enough. It's not even ten o'clock in the morning," Angela comments, sitting down next to her.

"I'll be ok."

"You don't need to drown your sorrows."

"You have no idea."

"Enlighten me."

Maura looks at her, for a moment, and shakes her head. "I can't," she replies, with her cheeks burning in embarrassment, and shame.

"Why not?"

"I just can't."

"Does this have something to do with why Jane stormed out the other night?"

"Yes," Maura confirms.

"Maura, talk to me. I can see that something is going on with you. You can't keep everything to yourself, and bury your emotions, all of the time."

"Where were you seven years ago?"

"What?"

"Nothing," Maura shakes her head.

"What's going on with you?"

"Sometimes I forget who I'm supposed to be."

"What do you mean?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"I don't know how to let my guard down. I am afraid to let people in, and now I know why. I don't want to be judged. I..."

"The only thing that you can be, is yourself."

"But what if that's not good enough?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"I am flawed."

"Maura," she touches her hand, reassuringly, "everyone has flaws."

"Not like this. Angela, I have made a lot of mistakes. I just wanted to be successful, and have a career."

"There is nothing wrong with that."

"There is when you sacrifice everything else, to achieve that goal."

"Some sacrifices are necessary."

"Sometimes it's too much. Some times you think that you're making the right choice, and you just hurt the people you care about."

"Maura, what do you mean?"

"It's complicated."

"Give me the short version."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Maura, you can tell me anything."

She swallows hard, and looks at her shot glass, longingly. She stares at the counter top of the island, as she speaks, avoiding eye contact with Angela.

"I have a son," she says, in a small, quiet voice.

"What?"

"I have a son," she repeats.

"Have, or had?"

"Have. Present tense."

"Oh," Angela studies her facial expression.

"He's six. His name is Gabe. I left my last job, my entire life, and all of the people that I cared about, when I found out that I was pregnant with him. I left the person that I was behind, and I hurt a lot of people."

* * *

_August 25th, 2005-_

_She sits in her new apartment, in the middle of the floor. There are a few empty boxes, but the apartment is mostly bare. She looks around, and feels completely overwhelmed. She looks down, at her growing stomach. She places her hands on it. She feels movement. She swallows hard, and clenches her jaw, but she can't stave off the tears. She can't help but feel alone. She's in a new city, new apartment, with a new job, and a baby on the way. She knows, absolutely no one._

_"How am I supposed to do this? On my own? How am I supposed to work seventy hour weeks, and take care of a baby? How am I supposed to be your mother? I can't do this."_

* * *

Angela brushes the hair out of her face. She looks at Maura, and she smiles.

"Maura every woman feels overwhelmed, when she has her first child. It's hard, and it's scary."

The tears trickle down Maura's face now. She looks at Angela with guilt.

"I was so scared. I didn't have anyone. I was so afraid that I was going to screw him up. The only thing I knew, was that I had no idea how to take care of a child, on my own. And I made the biggest mistake of my life. Every single day I wake up, and before I get out of bed, I think about him. I think about the fact that he's not here, with me, and he should be. He's just a little boy, and he needs me, I have just never known how to be there for him. I thought that it was best, that Rachel took him, but it didn't make him happy. And, all I wanted, was him."

"You can change your mind."


	13. Golden Era

He gets out of the car. As he walks up the sidewalk his stomach twists in knots. He takes two steps up, to the entry way. He pulls the glass door open, and knocks on the heavy metal door. He swallows hard, waiting for someone to answer. He hears footsteps running towards him. The door pulls open, and a little boy appears, with a big smile. A balding man, appears behind him.

"Hi, Tony, I'm Jim," the balding man offers his hand.

"Nice to meet you," Tony shakes his hand.

Jim looks down, "And this is Gable, we call him Gabe. This is your son."

Gabe offers his hand, for a handshake. Tony reaches down, and scoops him up, into his arms, and hugs him tightly.

"Can I go now?" Gabe turns, to ask Jim.

"Of course," he nods, "Have a good time."

"When do you want him back?" Tony inquires.

"You can keep me," Gabe smiles.

"Whenever he's ready to come back," Jim answers.

Gabe holds his hand all the way to the car. Tony puts the key in the ignition, and just stares into the rearview mirror. He smiles widely, at the boy in the backseat. He's got big hazel eyes, sandy colored hair, that goes ten different directions at once, and his mother's smile.

"So, where do you want to go?"

"That's up to you."

"What do you like to do?"

"Everything. Read, watch sports, play sports, watch movies, go to the park, go to the arcade."

"Is there anything that you want to see, at the movies?"

"Not really. I like classic movies."

"Classic, like what?"

"From the golden era of film."

"You're definitely my kid."

"What's going to happen, now?"

"We're going to decide where we're going."

"After that."

"We'll probably get a meal, at some point."

"She doesn't want me..."

Tony cuts him off, "That's not true."

"I..."

"I want you."

"You just met me," Gabe reminds me.

"Have you ever seen _Never Let Me Go_?"

"Of course. That's where I got my name."

* * *

She digs the box out from under her bed. She pulls the lid off the box. She takes a seat, leaning against the bed. She pulls out a piece of paper, a letter, from Gabe. She reads it to herself, and moves on to a handmade mother's day card. She soon finds a pair of baby shoes, and folded blanket, and hat. The floodgates open, as she looks at the tiny baby shoes. She hears a tap, on her bedroom door. She turns, to find Angela standing in her doorway.

"May I come in?"

Maura just nods. Angela takes a seat next to her, on the floor. Maura pulls a photo album out of the box, she hands it to her. Angela flips through the pictures. The first is of Maura, holding the baby, in the hospital. Followed by the picture of Gabe, in his basinet, at the hospital. She flips through, silently, with Maura watching. When she reaches the last page she sees this year's school picture, with Gabe smiling widely.

"He's a very handsome boy."

"He's smart, and funny, too."

"I am sure that he's a very sweet boy."

The tears stream down Maura's face. Without a single word, Angela envelopes her in a hug.

"I know," she whispers.

"The one thing that I always wanted, is the one thing that I screwed up, the most," Maura tells her, letting go.

"Maura, you can't just shove all of your feelings down, deep inside, and expect to keep it together all of the time."

"I don't know how to deal with this."

"With what?"

"Any of it. I don't know how to be anyone's mother. I don't know how to deal with a traumatized six year old boy. I can barely handle my own emotions."

"You, are like Jane, in that respect. You never deal with your emotions."

"How am I supposed to deal with the fact, that I hurt everyone I loved, when I left D.C.? They thought that I was dead, and I didn't do anything to convince them otherwise. I knew what they thought, and I didn't do anything. I just ran away, like a scared child. Except, I wasn't a child, I had my own child on the way. I thought that I could do everything in my power to protect him. I wanted to do all of the right things. When he got here, I made all of the wrong choices. I didn't do any of the things I needed to, that he needed me to."

"You have to learn how to deal with it."

"Why? What is the point? It's a little bit late now, don't you think?" Maura responds angrily.

"You still have a son. He still needs you, now more than ever."

"I don't know how to give him what he needs."

"Maura it's instinctual. If you think I had any clue what I was supposed to do, the first time around, you're wrong. I just winged it."

"You are the most incredible mother I have ever met. You are the only role model I've ever had. I didn't have what you and Jane do. I was raised by nannies. I didn't want that for Gabe. I wanted him to have more..."

Angela cuts her off, "He does, he has you."

"I ruined everything. Gabe's father was my partner."

"You fell in love with your partner?"

"No, that's the problem. I wasn't in love with him. I didn't even think of him in that way. He was like my brother."

"Then how did you get pregnant?"

"I was at his apartment one night, watching _Never Let Me Go_, and we had both had a lot to drink. We had been having some pretty rough cases, and we just needed to unwind. Afterwards, we never talked about it. We both pretended that it didn't happen. I didn't even tell him that I was pregnant."


	14. Thank You

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"I can't mend all of the bridges that I've burned."

"You have to try."

"What if I can't?"

"I think that you owe it to that little boy."

"I can't do this on my own."

"Who said that you had to?"

* * *

He sits in the booth, across the table from a six year old. He doesn't notice the pretty blonde waitress, instead he stares at the little boy across the table from him, eating ice cream.

"Is it good?" Tony quizzes.

"Do you want to try some?"

"I just had half a gallon," Tony smiles.

"I was trying to be polite."

"I was trying to be a pig," Tony responds.

Gabe laughs.

"So, Gabe, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"

He shrugs, "I don't know, whatever you want."

"It's getting late, don't you think that you should be getting home."

"It's seven o'clock."

"Don't you have school in the morning?'

"Yes," Gabe nods.

"Then I should probably get you home."

"I don't want to go home."

"You have to, buddy."

"Can't I just stay with you?"

Tony doesn't say anything.

"You're my dad. I don't think you need a DNA test to prove that. Jim isn't my dad, he's not even my uncle."

"I know, but I'm just getting to know you. I don't even know your full name."

"My nickname is G-bear."

"G-bear? Your middle name is bear?"

"No," he shakes his head.

"Pooh? Gable Pooh?"

"No," he giggles.

"Gable Smoky?"

"Nice try," he smiles.

"I know, Gable Theodore," Tony insists.

"Nope."

"Gable Paddington."

"Paddington? Like Paddington bear?"

"Like Paddington bear, but not because of him."

"Where does it come from?" Tony asks curiously.

"Maura said that it is something that my father would know."

"It was my mother's maiden name."

"Oh."

"So, what's your last name? Cranston? Todd?"

"Isles."

"Do you always call Maura, Maura?"

He shakes his head, "I call her that when I'm angry with her, which is most of the time. Sometimes when I'm mad, I'll call her mother."

"Do you ever call her mom?"

"Sometimes, she is my mom."

"And Rachel?"

"I didn't call her mom. I called her auntie."

* * *

She rolls towards the ringing phone. She glances at the clock, on her way there. It reads; _12:34_. She's been asleep for ten minutes. She sighs, and pulls the phone to her ear.

"Dr. Isles," she answers, sheepishly.

"I'm sorry to be calling so late, but I couldn't sleep."

"Tony? How did you get this number?"

"I have my sources."

"McGeek?"

"The one and only."

"What are you calling me for?"

"To thank you."

"For what?"

"Giving me a son."

"Are you drunk, or high?"

"No. Neither."

"Are you being serious? I can't tell."

"Yes. I'm serious. I spent the whole day with him, today."

"You, what?!"

"We spent all day together. I had a great time."

"Jim let you spend all day with him?"

"Gabe wanted to."

"You had a good time?"

"He's just like me."

"I think that he's probably smarter," Maura argues.

"Yeah, maybe. He's great. I just wish that I had known sooner."

"You weren't ready to be a dad seven years ago."

"I know, but I am now. I just met him, and... I can't even explain how I feel about him."

"The feeling that you would take on the whole world, for him?"

"Yeah," he agrees.

"I am glad that you got to spend the day with him."

"You named him after my mother?"

"He told you?"

"Yeah. He's the most incredible kid."

"I wish I could take credit for that, but I can't," she responds.

"When he laughs the whole world lights up. His laugh reminds me so much of you."

"You got him to laugh?"

"Yeah. Ka... Maura, I miss you."

"I miss you too."


	15. The Mind's Eye

She lies awake in her bed, trying to find sleep, but it never comes. Instead, her mind travels back, to another time, and another place.

_January 18th, 2006-_

_They put a screaming baby on her chest. She looks down, at the chubby, bald baby, whose covered in goo. She wants to cry, and she wants to smile, at the same time. _

_"Hi, little man," she coos. His head raises off her chest. He searches for his voice. _

_Hours later, he's had a bath, and he's swaddled in a receiving blanket. The nurse hands him to her. She holds him, against her chest, feeling every single breath he takes. Feeling, something that she had never felt before. A love so intense, that she can't even fathom it. He presses his hand against her chest. _

* * *

_January 20th, 2006-_

_It's late, and she at home, all alone, with a brand new baby. She sits in the rocking chair, in his room, just watching him sleep, with the lamp on. She rocks in that -chair, for hours, getting up, each time that he cries, but never falling asleep. _

* * *

He lies in bed, wide awake, staring at the ceiling, in silence. He closes his eyes, and envisions himself, in the life, that he could have had.

* * *

_Instead of a one bedroom, he's in a house, in the suburbs. He sits at the piano. The house is filled with noise. There is banging coming from the kitchen. He hears the sound of bare feet running towards him, on the hardwood. The living room is a disaster, as he plays. It looks as if a tornado has gone off, around him. A little boy runs into the room. He takes a seat on the piano bench. He begins to play along. Before long, the both of them are smiling widely. Tony scoops him up, and tosses him over his shoulder. He makes his way into the kitchen. He sits Gabe on the counter. There are bowls, and spills all over the kitchen island, where Gabe sits._

_A brunette stands in front of the oven. She stirs something, with a baby on her hip. He makes his way over to her. He reaches for the little girl on her hip. The green eyed little girl reaches for him. The woman turns to him, and smiles._

_"Kate," he whispers._

* * *

He rolls onto his side, realizing that this reality is no longer a possibility. She wasn't Kate, and they weren't together. She was in another city, living another life. Back then, he could have seen a future with her, but now... it wasn't as easy to picture. What would it be like? Life with their son, in DC? Or would life with Maura be in Boston? He puts the pillow over his head, and wills himself to sleep.

She lies in her bed, listening to the sounds of an empty house. An empty house, built on a life full of lies. Lies, and secrets built this house, and now all she wants is out. All she wants to do, is run. She doesn't want this anymore. If only there was a way to go back. If she could just take it all back, she would be happy. Right? She rolls onto her stomach, and pulls the covers over her head. She tries to convince herself that she has to sleep, knowing that her dreams will haunt her.

It's funny that in your sleep, your sub-conscience has a way of telling you things, that you don't want to know. In your dreams, you learn things about yourself that are hard to admit, in the light of day.

* * *

_He sits at the dining room table. It's set for three. To his right, his son sits. He smiles, at the empty place setting, waiting for dinner arrive. His eyes fall to the place settings. Simple white, with gold trim. When he looks up the food is set out, in front of him. He looks to his left, and finds a brunette sitting. She smiles at him, with her wise eyes. She nods, and he reaches for their hands. He looks past the food, to her left hand. Her ring shines in the light from the chandelier that is above their head. They bow their heads to pray. When they finish she scoots her chair out._

_"Where are you going?" he asks._

_She stands up, and answers, "I forgot the dinner rolls."_

_His eyes fall on her growing stomach. He smiles, "I'll get them."_

_"Tony, I am not an invalid. I can get them," she argues._

_"I didn't say that you couldn't. I want to get them. You have worked all day, and you made dinner. I can do it."_

_She concedes, sitting down in her seat._

* * *

She stares at the body on her autopsy table, blankly. The sound of the doors swinging open, brings her back to reality. She hears the sound of boots clicking on the tile floor. Her glance rises, to Jane's face.

"You haven't started yet?"

Maura shakes her head, "I was waiting on you," she lies.

"Liar."

"Jane, I am going to start."

Jane nods, "Go ahead. We'll ignore the elephant in the room."

"I want to focus on the examination of the body. We can talk about it later."

"We can talk while you work."

"I don't want to," Maura clarifies.

"Why not? It clearly has you distracted."

"I apologize, I usually do a better job of remaining focused."

"Maura, you're robot like qualities do not impress me. You're a human being. You are supposed to feel emotions."

"Jane, I don't want to talk about it."

"Then you shouldn't have brought it up."

"Can we please just get to work?"

"Can I ask you one question?"

"If it will allow me to get to the autopsy any quicker," she nods hesitantly.

"How is this going to work?"

"What do you mean?"

"You live here. They live in Boston."

"So?"

"You can't expect him to give up everything he's ever known, and come here."

Maura furrows her brow, "I'm his mother."

"But you haven't been."

Maura looks at Jane, and says nothing. She sees the look of disappointment, on Jane's face, and it cuts like a knife. She can't come up with a good enough answer. She looks away, and begins her y-incision.

Jane exhales, and turns, and walks away. Maura doesn't look up, until she hears the doors. Then, she looks up, for only a second. She puts down her scalpel, unable to keep a steady hand. She steps back, and peels off her gloves. She takes a deep breath, to stave off the tears, but it doesn't work. They come anyway. The tears fall, as her world crashes down around her.


	16. Things You Don't Know

They ride the elevator, in silence. They're nearly to their destination, when he presses the emergency stop button. She turns, cocking her head to the side, waiting for an explanation.

"I saw my son for the first time," he tells her.

"Oh?"

"I never knew..." he trails off.

She looks up at him. Her deep brown eyes seem to bore a hole through him.

He begins again, "I never knew that I would want anything like that."

"I know, you didn't."

"Did you?"

She simply nods.

"How?"

"Because I know you."

He smiles, "Too well," he agrees.

"Tony, I am happy that you're happy. You deserve to be happy."

"But?"

She shakes her head, breaking eye contact, "But nothing," she lies.

"Something, just say it."

She looks at him, and nods, "Did you love her?"

His heart sinks, as he looks into her eyes. "No."

"You're lying," she accuses him, knowing him too well.

"She was a friend..."

"She was more than a friend," she reminds him.

"It wasn't like that."

"It doesn't matter," she looks away.

"I don't know how to explain it to you."

She reaches for the button, "Never mind," she huffs.

He grabs her hand. He prevents her from pushing the button. He takes a step towards her. She gives him a warning, with the sharp look in her eyes. He takes a deep breath.

"I didn't love her, like I love you."

She doesn't say anything, she just looks at him.

"Did you hear me?" he questions.

"I..."

"I want you to meet him," he adds.

"Why?"

"Because he's an amazing kid, and I want to share him with you," he replies.

"Why would you say that you love me?"

"Because it's true."

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why would you love _me_?"

"Because you've been broken, and bruised, you've made mistakes, and you're not perfect. You're like me. My whole life, I've never let anyone as close, as you."

"Neither have I."

* * *

She finishes the case, and she goes home. She's sitting in the kitchen, with a glass of alcohol, and a suitcase, when Angela walks in. Angela approaches, slowly. She takes a seat, on the barstool, that sits next to her. They sit silently, at the island, in her kitchen, for several moments. Maura finishes her drink. Angela turns to her, and finally she speaks.

"I didn't know that you drink bourbon."

"Usually, I don't," she admits.

"Going somewhere?"

"Out of town," Maura reveals.

"For how long?"

"A few days."

Angela nods, "Oh?"

"I have some business to take care of."

"It must be something pretty important."

"What makes you say that?"

"You're drinking bourbon."

"It reminds me of simpler times," she answers.

"Maura what's on your mind?"

"I've made a lot of bad decisions, in my life."

"So you're running away from your problems?"Maura shakes her head, "Towards them, for a change."

"What do you mean?"

"I have a lot of..."

"Secrets?"

Maura nods, "More than you know."

"I know that you keep a lot inside. It isn't healthy."

"I can't share everything."

"Why not?"

"Because you won't understand."

"Understand what?"

"The choices that I've made."

"Try me."

"I wouldn't know where to start."

"With the thing you don't want to tell me."

"There are a lot of things that you don't know about me," Maura begins.

"For example?"

"I have a tattoo."

"Lots of people do."

"You don't sound surprise," Maura points out.

"You are not the only one on the planet who has secrets."

"That is nothing, in comparison to the others," Maura admits.

"What others?"

"I should get going. I have a flight to catch."

"I'll drive you to the airport."

"I am fine," Maura argues.

"I insist," Angela argues.

"You're not my mother," Maura reminds her.

"No, but I am still driving you. Maura, you're like my daughter. I don't want to see anything happen to you."

"You shouldn't."

Angela furrows her brow, "Where is this coming from?"

"I have a son."


	17. Hard Truths

"You have a what?"

"A son," Maura repeats.

"What are you talking about, Maura? You don't have son," she argues.

"I have a son, his name is Gabe."

"Why didn't you tell me, before?"

"It's complicated."

"Why haven't I met him?"

"I wasn't always the same person I am now. I have made mistakes, that I can't take back."

"Everyone does."

"I think this was a mistake."

"What was a mistake?"

"Telling you."

"Maura where is he? Why isn't he here, with you?"

"I do not have maternal instincts."

"Yes you do. Maura, answer my questions."

"He's in D.C. He isn't with me, because I didn't raise him."

"How old is he?"

"He'll be seven, soon."

"Seven? You have a seven year old son?" Angela stares at her, in disbelief.

"I never planned to have children. He wasn't part of the plan."

Angela smiles, "They are rarely planned."

"And, I was scared. I was alone, and I didn't know how to take care of him. I didn't know how to raise a child."

"Why are you telling me, now?"

"Someone that I was very close to, was taking care of him. She died, in a car accident."

"Who is taking care of him, now?"

"Her husband."

"And what about his father? Is he in the picture?"

"He didn't know about him. It is a long, complicated story. I just told him."

"Why would you keep this a secret?"

"I told you, it's complicated."

"Maura, no matter how complicated something is, or how complicated life is, some things are simple."

"It isn't simple."

"He's your son, and that is simple."

"But..."

"You're his mother."

"How am I supposed to make him fit into my life?"

"You have it all wrong Maura. You don't fit him in your life. You fit your life, for him."

"I knew that you wouldn't understand."

"Understand what?"

"I was just trying to protect him."

"From what? From you?"

"I don't know what I'm doing. I have made such a mess of everything."

"Just be honest."

"But, how am I supposed to look at him, and tell him the truth?"

"He's your son, he deserves to know."

"But the truth sounds like an excuse."

"Is it?"

"I was scared. I was afraid that something would happen to him, with me."

"Maura, you're a grown woman, you need to own your mistakes. Don't make excuses. Just own your mistakes."

"I don't know how to fix this," she admits, on the verge of tears.

"How did his father react?"

"Much differently than I thought he would."

* * *

He sits on the bench, with the six year old, waiting for their other party to join them. Gabe looks up, he smiles, and then turns to Tony. Tony stares blankly, at the bowling lane they sit in front of. Gabe elbows him.

"Is that her?" He points, to the woman walking toward them.

Tony looks up. He smiles. She comes over to them. She stops, in front of Tony.

"Gabe, this is my partner, Ziva. Ziva, this is my son, Gabe."

Ziva offers a hand, "It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," he smiles.

"Now are you ready to kick, his butt?" Ziva points to Tony.

"All night long," Gabe nods.

* * *

She sits in the kitchen, alone. She sits at the island, staring at her cup of tea. It's quiet, except for the sound of rain, on the window, outside. She feels alone. It's late, and she can't sleep. The door opens, and she looks up.

"What are you doing here?"

She closes the door.

"I am sorry, I think I was harsh with you earlier," Angela admits.

"You didn't say anything, that I didn't need to hear."

* * *

The car ride is mostly silent. Tony stops, at a stop light. He looks in his rearview mirror. He finds that Gabe is still back there.

"Can I ask you a question?" Gabe inquires.

"Sure."

"How does it feel to get beaten by a six year old?"

"I let you win."

"No, you didn't," Gabe argues.

"How does it feel to get beaten by a girl?" Tony counters.

"I don't know, you tell me," Gabe laughs.

"She beat you, too," he reminds him.

"Yeah, but you got beaten by a girl, and a six year old. That's pretty bad."

"I let you guys win."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah. I like Ziva, she's nice."

"I like her too," Tony admits.

"You should put a ring on it," Gabe adds.

"What?!"

"You should marry her."

"I know what put a ring on it, means. Why would you say that?"

"You shouldn't let her get away."


	18. Served

She reaches for the ringing phone. It's not even six am, yet. She's already at a crime scene, nevertheless. She grabs her phone, and pulls it to her ear.

"Isles," she answers.

"Maura, it's Tony."

"Tony, why are you calling so early?"

"Gabe is in the hospital."

"Why, what's wrong?"

"He got up, in the middle of the night, and tripped over the dog. He fell, and hit his head."

"Is he ok?"

"The doctor said that his MRI looks ok, but they're going to keep him for observation."

"Ok, keep me updated."

"Whoa! That's it?"

"What do you mean, that's it?"

"I just told you that our son, who already had a concussion, fell, and hit his head, and you're not going to do anything?"

"I am at a crime scene."

"So?"

"I am hundreds of miles away. I can't just leave work, in the middle of a case."

"You're colder, than I remember," he tells her.

"I have to go," she hangs up.

* * *

That evening, she's sitting at her desk, working on a case report, when someone knocks on her door. She looks up, at the man standing in her doorway.

"Can I help you?" she asks.

"I'm looking for Maura Isles."

"That's me," she admits.

He walks over to her desk, and hands her an envelope. She looks up at him, in confusion.

"You've been served," he reveals.

He leaves the room. She sits there, dumbfounded. She rips the envelope open, and begins to read. After she has read the document, three times, to confirm that she is not mis-reading it, she picks up her phone. It rings twice, before the party on the other end answers.

* * *

"DiNozzo," he answers.

"I just got served," she reveals.

"Good. I am glad the papers made it to you, before the end of business."

"What the hell are you trying to pull? You're petitioning the court for full custody? You don't even have a bedroom for Gabe to sleep in."

"At least I'm there for him, when he needs me, unlike you."

"Tony, I am not going to have this argument with you. Drop the case."

"It's too late. We're due in court at ten am tomorrow."

"What? How did you get a court date, for tomorrow?"

"I used some of my connections."

"I can't get there by ten am, tomorrow."

"Then I guess you won't be contesting."

"Tony, don't do this, it's petty."

"It's petty? I don't think so. My son lives with people, who aren't even related to him."

"He's lived with them most of his life. Leave him alone."

"You are his mother, you should be fighting for him."

"I don't have to fight for him. I am his mother. I can go get him, anytime that I want."

"I am his father, and I think that it's in his best interest to be with me."

"Where are you right now? Work?"

"No, in case you forgot, our child is in the hospital. I am in the hospital."

"Are you sitting in his room, next to him, while we're having this conversation?"

"No. I am outside his room, where he can't hear me."

"Can we talk about this?"

"No. I'll see you in court, tomorrow."

"Don't be like this. You are being unreasonable."

"Unreasonable? I have a son that you never told me about. All I want for him, is to be happy, and safe. I am his father, and he deserves to have a stable home."

"He already has a stable son."

"You might be ok, with a stranger raising your kid, but I'm not."

Before she can argue, he hangs up on her.

* * *

He leans against the wall, outside Gabe's room. The door comes open. His partner comes out of the room. He looks at her.

"He's awake," she tells him.

He slides the phone in his pocket, and heads towards the door.

"Ziva, you don't have to stay. You worked all day."

"I want to."

He nods, and she follows him into the room. He closes the door, behind them. He takes a seat on the chair, next to the bed. Gabe looks at him, with dark circles under his eyes.

"Hey, champ, how was your nap?"

"Ok. When do I get to go home?" Gabe wonders.

"Soon. The doctor said you might get to go home tomorrow afternoon."

"Will you take me home?" Gabe quizzes.

"Yes," Tony nods.

"No, I mean, will you take me home, with you?"

"Gabe, I don't know if I can."

"But I want to go home, with you. You're my dad. Don't you want that, too?"

Tony nods, "Gabe it isn't that simple."

"Why not?"

"I have to go to court in the morning,"

"For a case?" Gabe wonders.

"I asked for full custody of you. I thought it is what you wanted."

"So you'll have me all of the time?" Gabe tries to clarify.

"Yes," Tony confirms.

"That's what I want."

"Good."

"Did you talk to her, about that thing?" Gabe questions.

"Who?"

Gabe points to Ziva, "Her."

"Did I talk to her, about what?"

"That thing, I told you to talk to her about," Gabe answers.

"Buddy, I think you're confused. You did hit your head."

Gabe looks over at Ziva, "I told him he should put a ring on it," he reveals.

She doesn't say anything, but her cheeks turn red.


	19. Pick Your Battles

She wakes up, in her hotel room, and the clock tells her it's only six a.m. She has barely been asleep for five hours. The sun has yet to come up. She wonders why she is awake. It only takes her an instant to realize that she's not alone. She sits up, and looks around the room, waiting for her eyes to adjust. She is reminded that moments like these make her miss her gun. A sense of panic overtakes her.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. I could, and I want to, but I won't," the voice less than two feet from her bed reveals.

Maura reaches for the lamp. She flips it on. She looks at the woman standing by her bed.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same."

"I have to be in court in a few hours."

"I know."

"This is incredibly inappropriate. You shouldn't be here," Maura tells her.

"Neither should you," Ziva insists.

"Why not?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" Maura raises an eyebrow.

"Why are you fighting this?"

"I am Gabe's mother."

"You certainly haven't acted like it. Why do you care now?"

"I have made a lot of mistakes."

"Then stop making them."

"I am trying."

"If you really want to stop making mistakes, let him have what he wants," Ziva begs.

"I am here to fight for my son."

"Fight for him? He is seven years old. Where have you been all along? You haven't been fighting for him."

"This isn't your battle to fight," Maura points out.

"I don't want to see them get hurt."

"See who get hurt?"

"Either of them. Tony is my partner."

"I know that."

"I know what it's like to have a parent who puts everything before you. I lived that life."

"This isn't about you," Maura argues.

"No, it's about Gabe. This whole thing is about what is best for Gabe. It isn't about how this might make you look. It is not about public perception, or your image. It's about your son. I do not understand how you can come here, and not see that what is in his best interest, is for you to walk away."

"You think that I am a bad parent, for walking away, before. Why do you want me to walk away, now?"

"Gabe wants to be with Tony. He doesn't want to be with you. He feels abandoned by you. Let's be honest, it's not as if you're going to come here, and take him home with you, is it?"

Maura doesn't say anything.

"Why do you care if he is with Tony? At least that way you know that he is safe."

"You blame me. You don't understand how hard it was to make the choice to leave him with Rachel."

"I know that I would have chosen differently," Ziva's nostrils flare.

"Can you really say that? Can you really tell me that if you thought keeping your child would put it in harm's way you wouldn't make other choices?"

"I..."

Maura cuts her off, "You can't answer that, you don't know. You weren't there. You have never had to make that decision. Back off."

"You just don't get it. You are so wrapped up in your own world that you can't even see how much you have hurt that little boy."

"You need to go," Maura insists.

* * *

She waits outside the courtroom, on a bench. She wears a navy blue dress, and high heels. On the other side of the hall Tony sits on a bench, between Ziva, and Gibbs. They call them into the courtroom. She meets Tony, in the doorway.

"Where is Gabe?" she questions.

Tony shakes his head, in disbelief, "He doesn't need to be here for this. Someone from child welfare already spoke with him, and submitted their recommendations."

She enters the courtroom, and joins her lawyer. Tony stands on the other side, with his lawyer. They begin testimony. Less than twenty minutes in, Maura looks at her lawyer.

"Call a recess," she whispers.

"Dr. Isles this is family court, not criminal court," he reminds her, "We are nearly done here."

"I don't want to do this. I would rather reach an agreement outside of court," she reveals.

"I..."

"Please," she begs.

* * *

Twenty minutes later she sits across the table, from Tony, and his lawyer. She stares at them, in silence.

"Dr. Isles what is it that you hope to accomplish, with this stunt?" Tony's lawyer asks.

"I think that it is better for us to reach a decision about Gabe amongst ourselves, than have a judge do it for us."

Tony speaks up, "Why? We are never going to see eye to eye."

She turns to her lawyer, "Can you give us a moment alone?"

"I would advise..."

"Now," she insists.

Her lawyer gets up from the table. Tony's lawyer looks to him. Tony nods. The two counselors leave the room, closing the door behind them. Tony looks across the table, at Maura. It is still strange to see her. It is difficult to fathom that she can still be alive. He shakes the thought from his head. She isn't the same person that he knew. Everything he knew about her, was a lie.

"Maura I am not going to give up, just because your lawyer gets paid more than my does."

"That's not what this is about."

"Really? It seems like a battle of wills to me. We're wasting time."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Fighting for my child?"

She nods.

"You won't. You kept him a secret from me, for six years. I missed out on six years of his life. How do you think that makes me feel? I just want what is best for him."

"You think that your one bedroom, sixty plus hour work weeks, are what is best for him?"

"I don't think you're what is best for him. You might have a nicer place, but you work just as much as I do. Your job is your life."

"And yours isn't?"

"I am not here to fight you. I just want my son."

"Fine."

"Fine? You're just going to give up, just like that?"

"Tony I am not the enemy. You are right, we should both do what is best for him."

"What do you think that is?" he raises an eyebrow.

"You should have custody of him. I was grossly unprepared to be his mother. I still don't know if I am. I am selfish, I am a lot of things, but cold-hearted isn't one of them."

"Some people would beg to differ."

"You can have full custody, if it is what you want," she offers.

"What do you want?"

"Visitation, every other weekend."

"I can live with that, but the first time you can't make it, or you disappoint him, you're done. You have done enough of that in his life."

"You're right."

"Those aren't words that I ever thought I would hear from your mouth."

"You are right. It is about what is best for Gabe, and I'm not it. I can admit that."


	20. Transitions

Ziva stands on the sidewalk, outside a three bedroom house in a suburban neighborhood, with a cul-de-sac. She watches as they carry boxes inside. Tony approaches her.

"Why are you just standing around?" he questions.

"I am just in disbelief."

"Why?"

"You bought a house," she points out.

"I know."

"In the suburbs," she adds.

"I know."

"You gave up the place that you have lived for ten years to move to a house in the suburbs? That is not very Tony DiNozzo of you."

"My apartment had one bedroom, and was not very kid friendly. I have son. I got the house for a steal, and it's in a good school district."

"I still can't believe you have a son."

"Tell me about it."

"So now what?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. He's moving in on Friday, which gives me four days to get a room together for him."

"It is a nice house."

"You know I am going to need help for a while," he admits.

"I know."

"You wouldn't want to stay for a few nights and help me would you?"

"Help you with what?"

"The transition from being a bachelor, to being a father."

"I don't know that I can help you with that."

"I know something that you can help me with."

"What's that?"

He pulls out his wallet. He grabs his platinum card, and holds it out for her, "You could get stuff for Gabe's room. I don't know that I'll have time with all the unpacking that I have to do."

"There are three other people here to help you unpack."

"I know."

"You don't have that much stuff."

"Please," he begs.

"Fine."

"No clowns."

"Why would I get clowns? He's not two."

"No..."

She cuts him off, "Give me the card."

"Fine," he lets go of the card.

* * *

Jane finds Maura at the Dirty Robber. She sits in a booth with a greasy hamburger, and an empty glass. Jane slides in the booth, across the table from her.

"You barely said two words at work today," Jane begins.

"I know."

"How was your flight home yesterday?"

"It was fine."

"Maura are you ok?"

"Not really," she admits.

"How did your court hearing go?"

"We decided to reach an agreement outside of court."

"Why?"

"Because deciding what is best for Gabe really shouldn't be up to a judge."

"I agree. So what did you agree to?"

"I gave him primary custody."

"Why would you do that? I thought that you were going to go fight for you son."

"Fight for him? It was more like fight his father for a right, that I honestly don't deserve."

"What do you mean?"

"I did what was best for Gabe. Tony wants him. He is going to give him stability. He agreed that I could have visitation every other weekend."

"Maura he is your son."

Maura nods, "And I have already screwed up his life enough. He doesn't want me in his life. He wants to live with Tony. I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't think that Tony would be able to step up to the plate."

"You just gave up, just like that?"

Maura shakes her head, "No. I didn't give up. I did what was right. It wasn't easy, but it was what is best for my son."

"Doesn't his dad work a lot, too?"

"Yeah."

"What makes that situation any different?"

"He has been at NCIS for over a decade. They are his family. Everyone of them will help him out. Gabe will have a sense of consistency, and a family that I can't give him."

"Maura I think that you're selling yourself short."

* * *

Ziva tosses the pillow on the twin sized bed. She looks around the room, marveling at her work. She hears him breathing, nearby. She spins around, and finds him standing in the doorway. He comes into the room.

"It looks great you did a good job."

"His favorite color is blue," she points out.

Tony looks at the walls, "I know. You did a good job."

"I thought I would keep it simple so he can add whatever personal touches he wants to it."

"It's a nice room Ziva."

"And I made sure that his closet is stocked. I washed everything so it is ready to wear."

He hugs her, "You're the best."

"I should get going, it's getting late," she insists.

He lets go of her, and she leaves the room. She flips off the light, leaving him in the dark. She steps into the hallway. He follows after her.

"Zi, wait," he insists.

She stops in her tracks. She turns and looks at him, in the dark hallway.

"Why didn't you turn the hallway light on?" she questions.

He steps forward. She looks at him as he stands less than a foot away. He takes a step forward, and he goes for it. He presses his lips against her. She doesn't pull away. He has initiated things, but she doesn't back down.


	21. To The Edge

She can see that the light in the house is still on, despite the fact that it is after three a.m. She's gotten up to go to the bathroom, but when she's finished the light is still on. The things she's learned from her daughter about boundaries tell her that she should go back to bed. The mother in her tells her to exit the guest house immediately, and investigate.

She slides into a pair of slippers and pushes the door open. She exits the guest house, and heads towards Maura's front door. She carefully grips the handle. Much to her dismay she finds that the door is unlocked. She quietly pushes the door open. She enters the house, and closes the door behind her. She follows the light, into the living room. The lamp on the coffee table, near the couch illuminates the room. She finds Maura lying on the couch. In front of Maura, on the coffee table there is an empty glass, and a half full bottle of wine. Maura is passed out on the couch.

Angela reaches for the blanket on the back of the couch. Her instinct drives her to cover Maura up. She gently places the blanket over Maura. She notices the picture Maura is holding, as she sleeps. The picture is pressed to her chest. Angela carefully slips it out of her hands. She full intends to place it on the table, and return to the guest house. The picture is face down, only the back is showing. Angela reads the date on the back to herself. _January 18th, 2006_. Angela flips the picture over, expecting to see a picture of a newborn.

When she flips the picture over she is shocked. She leans against the arm of the couch, trying to keep herself upright. As she stares at the picture she knows that it has been a mistake to come in here. She looks at Maura, wondering what to do. She knows that returning the picture to it's previous spot will wake Maura. Before she can think about it much more Maura's eyes open. She looks up, and finds Angela.

"What time is it?" Maura questions.

"After three. I saw the light on, and I just wanted to check on you, and make sure that everything was ok."

"Oh," Maura sits up, on the couch. Angela doesn't move.

"Maura I shouldn't have come in here. I am sorry that I once again ignored boundaries."

Maura blinks, "What are you talking about? I have come to expect you to ignore boundaries."

"I came in here, and I saw you on the couch, so I covered you up."

"I wouldn't be upset with you for that."

"And I found this," Angela hands it to her, "You were holding it," she explains.

Maura looks at the picture, and then looks up at Angela.

"Oh," she manages to get out.

"I should go," Angela takes a step away from the couch.

"No, wait," Maura tells her, scooting to the other end of the couch.

"I should go," Angela argues.

Maura points to the seat on the couch, next to her, "Have a seat," Maura insists. Angela studies her facial expression, and then has a seat next to her.

"Jane told me that you gave custody to your son's father."

"Yes," Maura nods, in confirmation.

"And I kept wondering why. I couldn't figure out why you would do it. Honestly most of your behavior, lately hasn't made sense to me. I know that your life has not always been easy. I also know that you have never done things in an entirely traditional manner. Still, knowing you as a person, I couldn't figure out why you wouldn't want to be part of your son's life. I know how you feel about your career. I was certain that you would choose your son over your career, and when I found out what had happened when you were in D.C. I was even more puzzled."

"I know," Maura admits.

"I couldn't understand why your son was being raised by someone else all of those years."

"My life has never been simple."

Angela continues, "And while your reasons made sense, it just didn't feel right to me."

"I know."

"We don't have to talk about this anymore. I understand that you want your privacy. Some things are not up for discussion. I should get back to bed, it's late."

"Don't go," Maura begs.

"Are you sure?"

"Angela I have never talked to anyone about it. I have this whole box of pictures that I keep. And lately it takes everything I have to look at them, and not lose it."

"Why do you feel the need to lock everything up inside?"

"As a child no one ever listened to me. Nobody validated my emotions. My parents didn't know how to deal with their own emotions, and they certainly couldn't ever figure out how to deal with mine. After a while I learned to keep things to myself. It was easier that way."

"Did you ever tell your mother about your son?"

"No. I never told her. I couldn't. We hadn't been on speaking terms for a while, and I knew that she would never understand. I knew she would never be able to forgive me. Having a child out of wedlock would be unthinkable to her."

"Maura you could have talked to someone."

"I was alone, I had no one."

"You could have stayed in D.C."

"No," she shakes her head, "I couldn't. Everything I have said about why I left is true."

"But you were scared too."

"I will not deny that I was running from my problems, instead of facing them. I will always regret that."

"Maura it's late, and I can see that you have had a few glasses of wine. I don't want you to tell me anything that you will regret saying in the morning."

"I only had one glass. I opened that bottle days ago," she explains.

"Oh," Angela nods.

"I never told anyone I was pregnant."

"I know."

"I spent most of my life convinced that I could do anything I set my mind to. I was certain that I could do it on my own."

"No one can."

"But that day," Maura points to the picture, "I realized that I couldn't. I realized I was going to need help. I just couldn't admit it. I didn't want to."

"What did you do?" Angela questions.

"I didn't ask for help."

"I can't imagine how scared you were."

"That was the first time I realized that there was any value in listening to a gut feeling."


	22. Things You Can't Get Back

"What happened?" Angela questions.

Maura reaches over to the coffee table. She grabs the shoe box off the surface. She rifles through the box. She grabs the picture that she is looking for, and hands it to Angela. Angela reads the scrawl on the back of the picture, written in Maura's handwriting. It reads; _January 18th 2006, Gavin Leroy~6 lbs 3 oz._ Angela flips it over, and stares at the picture of the little boy. Maura returns the other picture to Angela. She silently stares at the picture of two newborn boys lying in a hospital basinet, together, side by side. Angela looks up at Maura, questioningly, but doesn't say a thing. Finally Maura opens her mouth to speak.

"My entire world fell apart," Maura admits.

"Explain it to me."

"I had tow brand new babies, and I was completely alone. These two identical little boys were depending on me, and I let both of them down."

"Maura what happened to make you think that?"

* * *

_February 1st 2006-_

_She climbs out of her bed. The alarm clock on her nightstand tells her that it is three am. She yawns, as she pulls on a robe. She exits her room, and enters the hallway. She moves towards the wailing just feet away from her. She is completely exhausted. She flips on the lamp, on the dresser, by the doorway. The crib is on the wall opposite of the door. She rubs her eyes, as she moves towards it. She looks in the crib, and finds one baby wailing. She lifts him out the crib, to soothe him. She pats him, but he continues to wail. She changes his diaper, but he continues to cry. It's been less than an hour since he's eaten. She looks down at her crying son._

_"Gabe buddy, what's wrong?" She rocks him back and forth, wondering why her quiet, laid back boy is wailing. In that instant she realizes that Gavin is silent. She places GAbe in the basinet nearby. He continues to cry. She returns to the crib, and takes a deep breath. She reaches in, expecting her worst nightmare, a cold baby. She lifts the other little boy out of the crib. He is warm. He is swaddled in a blanket. She takes a seat in the rocking chair, in the corner of the room. She places the baby on her lap, and unwraps him. She watches him for ten seconds, then twenty, then thirty. He doesn't take a breath. She pushes up the sleeve of his sleeper, as panic begins to set in. She presses her finger to his artery. She feels nothing. Her heart skips a beat as she begins CPR. _

* * *

"You couldn't get him back?" Angela asks, as Maura recounts the past to her, with tear filled eyes.

"No," she answers, "They had been in their crib for forty five minutes. I had just fed them. For once he was quiet. I fell right back to sleep. I don't know how long he lied there trying to breathe."

"It was SIDS?"

Maura shakes her head, "Gavin was a colicky baby. He had acid reflux. Some time after I put him into the crib he had an episode of reflux. He aspirated the formula into his lungs."

"Maura I'm so sorry."

"It was my fault."

"How was that your fault?"

"My only job was to keep them healthy, and happy, and I couldn't even do that. If I had just done a better job of burping him, maybe," tears now fall freely.

Angela interrupts her, "Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome."

"I will probably never be convinced of that, no matter how much scientific evidence I have."

"So you didn't give Gabe to someone else to raise because you afraid someone would hurt him."

Maura shakes her head, "I was afraid that I would hurt him. I was trying to protect him from me."

"Maura you didn't do anything wrong."

"I have a medical degree, and I couldn't even keep two little boys alive for a month on my own. I didn't want something to happen to Gabe because I didn't know what I was doing."

"Maura," Angela tries to reason with her.

"He was better off with Rachel. She knew what she was doing. She kept him healthy, and safe."

"Maura you can't let fear rule your life."

"I'm not. I am trying to do what is best for my son."

"Maura look at me," Angela insists.

Maura makes eye contact.

"Your son is never going to be better off not knowing you. He is never going to be better off not having you in his life."

"I was not meant to be a mother. I failed him. I have failed him time, and time again."

"And you are failing him right now, if you think that he is better off without you."

"He doesn't want me in his life."

"Yes he does."

"How do you know?"

"Maura you try to keep people you love at arm's length so you don't get hurt. He has learned to do the same thing. He is your son, you can't do that."

"It's too late. Tony is never going to change his mind. He is never going to be able to understand."

"Maura you've been lying to everyone for so long, it is time for the truth. Only the truth, and time can heal wounds."

"What I am really just not a good mother?"

"Do you really believe that is true?"

"My baby died, and it was my fault."

"It wasn't your fault," Angela argues.

"I have no maternal instincts."

"Yes you do. Maybe it's time that you start listening to them."

"I don't know what to do."

"Then I'll tell you."

"I..." Maura begins to argue.

"I know it's not my place, but you need to hear this," Angela insists.

Maura wipes her tears, and nods.

"First of all you have got to stop wallowing. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Life happens. Things that we think we can never recover from, shake everything that we think we believe in. You didn't do anything wrong. The second that you realize that you will realize that the only thing you are doing wrong is not fighting for your son."

"I am just trying to do what is best for him."

"The best thing, and the easy thing are rarely, if ever the same."


	23. Heartache

She's passed out on her partner's couch, when she hears footsteps approaching. She sits up, and looks around the room that is illuminated by a lamp on an end table nearby. She finds a little boy approaching her. She sits up on the couch. She pats the seat next to her, without a word.

"What are you still doing up? It's late."

"I don't sleep good," he answers.

"Is there anything I can do to help, Gabe?"

"No, Ziva."

"You know I don't sleep well either," she admits.

"Why not?"

"Sometimes I think about things that have happened in the past, and it makes it difficult to sleep."

He nods in understanding, "I wish I could turn it off."

"What do you think about?

He shrugs.

She smiles at the pajama clad little boy, "Why did you come down here?"

"My dad is sound asleep."

"I can hear him snoring," she admits.

"I should go back to bed."

"If you want to talk I am good at listening."

He purses his lips, and furrows his brow, in deep thought. "Why didn't she want me?"

Ziva's heart sinks. She swallows hard, "Who?" she questions already knowing the answer.

"My mom. Why didn't she want me?"

"Gabe she thought it would be better for you to be with Tony."

"She never wanted me."

"Gabe I don't think that is true."

"She gave me to Rachel, when I was a baby. What did I do to make her not want me?"

"I asked myself that question a lot when I was growing up," Ziva admits, "My father left, when I was young."

"And?"

"I realized it wasn't that he didn't want me. He was just trying to protect me. Parents are people too, and they make mistakes sometimes."

"Do you think that I was a mistake?"

She shakes her head, "No, Gabe. I don't think that. That was certainly not what I meant."

"If she wants me why didn't she try to fight for me?"

"She did what she thought was best. She thought you wanted to be with your dad."

"I am just a kid, what do I know?"

"You're angry at her?"

"Yes," he nods.

"But you're still a little boy, and you need her too?"

He nods, silently, on the verge of tears. "Maybe you should tell her that," Ziva suggests.

"She doesn't care."

"Gabe you know that isn't true."

"How? She abandoned me."

Her heart aches for the little boy sitting next to her. She reaches out for him. He wraps his arms around her tightly. He buries his head in her shoulder.

"It's ok," she promises him.

He doesn't say anything. Tears start to fall from his eyes. She holds him as he cries. After a while he wears himself out, and falls asleep. She lifts him off the couch, and carries him out of the living room towards the stairs. She climbs the stairs, and heads down the hallway to his room. She pulls back his covers, and places him in the bed. She tucks him in, and turns off his light.

She returns to the living room, and takes a seat on the couch. She grabs Tony's laptop, and flips it on. She gets online and begins to do research.

* * *

Maura collects her things, and heads for the door. She pulls the door open, and finds a familiar face staring at her. She steps outside, closing the door behind her.

"What are you doing here?" she inquires.

"We need to talk."

"You came clear to Boston, to talk? I have a phone."

"We need to talk in person."

"I don't know who you think you are, or what you think that we have to talk about, but..."

Ziva cuts her off, "It's about your son."

"I have to go. I can't be late for work."

"Then I will ride with you," Ziva insists.

"What is it that you need to tell me about my son?"

"Please just hear me out. If you don't want to continue the conversation when you get to work, that is fine I will leave."

"Whatever," Maura rolls her eyes as she gets into her car.

She slams the door shut behind her, and turns on the engine. Ziva climbs into her passenger's seat and buckles up. Maura purses her lips, trying to restrain herself from saying something she will regret as she back out the driveway.

"I don't know how your relationship with Tony was, and I honestly don't care. I don't really care about any of the problems the two of you have," Ziva begins.

"How is this about my son?" Maura questions.

"Just let me finish," Ziva insists.

Maura rolls her eyes.

"The two of you are going to have to get over whatever grudge you have against each other. You need to be on the same page, for your son."

"He has him," Maura reminds her.

"You need to be part of his life, too."

"What makes you think that you are qualified to tell me what I should, and shouldn't do regarding my child? You don't have any children."

"I am here because I care about Tony, and I care about Gabe."

"Is Gabe somehow in your way? Is that why you're here?"

"No. I am here because last night that little boy was crying on my shoulder. He asked me why you didn't want him. What was I supposed to say to that? Why can't you see that he needs you in his life, too? He should never have to feel like you don't want him. You are his mother. It wasn't my place to have that conversation with him. You need to talk to him. You need to be there for him. He needs to know that you want him. Maybe you don't, I don't know. I do not know you very well, but you certainly come off cold hearted."

"You're right, this isn't your place," she pulls over near the sidewalk, unlocking the doors.

"You need to tell him the truth. If you don't he is going to grow up to be a broken, angry, vengeful adult."

"How would you know anything about it?"

"Personal experience."

"You don't know anything about me."

"I know more than you think. I get why you made the decisions that you did, but you made them for the wrong reasons. Fear should never make a choice for you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't tell Tony," Ziva answers.

"Tell him what?"

"Why you really gave Gabe to Rachel."

"I don't know what you think that you know, but you're wrong."

"It wasn't about him, was it?"


	24. Missing

Ziva's phone rings, in the middle of her conversation with Maura. She looks at the number, and realizes it is her partner. She pulls the phone from her pocket, and places it against her ear.

"Where are you?" he questions.

"Taking care of some business, why?"

"Do you have Gabe. Please tell me that you have Gabe."

"No. I thought that you were taking him to school this morning."

"I did."

"Then why are you asking me where he is?"

"Because I just got a call from the school. He wasn't in class."

"Tony I don't have him. I don't know where he is."

"This is a nightmare. Maura is going to kill me. How could I be so irresponsible? I should have walked him in, instead of just dropping him off."

"Maybe he just didn't want to go in. Maybe he is on the playground, or up a tree."

"I am at the school now. He isn't here."

"Do you think that someone took him?"

"Ziva we deal with the scum of the earth."

"Where is Gibbs?"

"He is looking at the security footage."

"How long ago did you drop him off at school?"

"Almost three hours ago. Ziva he could be anywhere."

"I'll be on the next flight back."

"Next flight. Where are you at?"

"Don't worry about it."

"I'll keep you posted."

"Ok," she hangs up.

She looks over at Maura.

"What is going on?"

"Gabe is missing."

"Missing? What do you mean, missing?"

"Tony dropped him off at school this morning. He never made it to class."

"He is a little boy," Maura points out.

"I know."

"Someone could have taken him," she adds.

"I know. Can you drop me off at the airport?"

"Yeah," she nods, in agreement.

Fifteen minutes later they arrive at the airport. Ziva climbs out of the car, and heads for the airport entrance. Maura notices a small child getting ready to climb into a cab, in front of her. She puts the car in park, and gets out.

"Gabe?" she calls out.

The boy turns around and looks at her. He smiles widely.

"What are you doing here?" he questions.

"Gabe why are you in Boston?"

"I needed to see you," he admits.

She takes the backpack from the boy, and reaches for his hand.

"You had us worried."

"You didn't even know that I was missing, did you?"

"I did."

"Not the whole time."

"How did you get here?" Maura questions.

"I took a taxi from school to the airport. Then I got on a plane, and came here."

"How?"

"Ziva used dad's computer to book her flight. I used the credit card number. This morning when I asked for lunch money he handed me his wallet, because he was driving. I took the credit card from it."

"Gabe that is very dangerous. If you wanted to come to Boston you should have asked."

"I knew you wouldn't want to see me."

"That isn't true," she argues.

"You would have said no."

"I would have come and got you, if you needed to see me."

"Since when?" he wonders.

She points to the car, "Get in, please," she insists.

He climbs into the backseat. She pulls out her phone, and dials Tony.

"Maura?"

"Yes," she confirms.

"The security footage has him taking a cab. The cab dropped him off at the airport, and..."

She cuts him off, "He is with me. I found him."

"Where?"

"At the airport. He was trying to get into a cab."

"He stole my credit card."

"I know he told me."

"Is he ok?"

"I think that he will be."

"Do you want me to come get him?"

"No, I think that he wants to be here. It's Friday, so why don't I just keep him for the weekend?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Did he say why he flew to Boston?"

"He said that he needed to talk to me."

"We have a telephone. He has his own cell phone. I don't understand."

"Why does he have his own cell phone?"

"It's just a prepaid phone, in case of emergencies."

"I'll take it from here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she confirms.

The car ride back to her house is silent. She pulls out her phone, and calls in sick to work. She parks the car, and unbuckles her seatbelt. She looks back that the boy in her backseat. She realizes that he's never seen her house.

"Come on Gabe."

He nods, and climbs out of the car. He follows her into the house. She closes the door behind them. She directs him to the living room.

"Sit," she points to the couch.

He takes a seat on the couch. She takes a seat next to him.

"Are you going to lecture me on how dangerous what I did was?"

"I think you already know."

"Then why are we sitting here? What do you want to tell me?"

"I thought you were the one who wanted to talk to me," she points out.

He nods. He looks her in the eyes, "Why don't you want me?"


End file.
